I swear if there are engagement gods--they are taunting me. They are doing everything they can to get me to get worked up....and I will admit...they have gotten me once or twice. It all started last summer when I found out Megan was engaged and the rings haven't stopped coming since.
Megan, Ashley, Lindsay, Megan, Kelsey, Kelsey, Rachel, Amanda. The list just keeps growing and those are just my close friends--if I start mentioning my friends or acquaintances I wouldn't even have enough room. At first I got crazy excited. I was so happy that I would scream and shout and jump up and down and a little tear of happiness would fall from my eye. Now my heart drops. To be clear...this heart dropping thing has only happened on the latest engagement but I am glad Megan completely understood. I lost my co-singer to "Another One Bites the Dust"--what was I going to do!?!
I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW. You think I am crazy. You think I am nuts and mainly you think I am a loser and probably that I am a terribly mean person. I sometimes think I am too.
To be complete honest...I am completely happy how I am. I would be completely happy if Mark Purfeerst never asked me to marry him and somehow it was socially acceptable to live together and raise cows together and maybe one day in the FAR FAR future have babies that can show those cows some day...but somehow I don't think my grandmother would approve. Even more...I am only 21. I have the rest of my life to be married-what's the rush? AND EVEN MORE, the thought of planning a wedding scares me. Where would we have it? How could I decide on just one color? Would it match? What if I make so many people mad that I can't come to theirs because of judging and France and NO ONE COMES TO MINE? I am going to be like that sister on 27 Dresses who has her sister plan everything. There is no way I can do it.
But despite the deep dark secret just revealed above...my heart is breaking every time I open facebook and have 3 more friends engaged. Really engagement gods...you couldn't be a little easy on me and only do one happy love story a day?!?! So you are probably wondering why? Here is the truth...it's all your fault, not to be blunt or anything. For the past three years (or more) Mark and I have been fielding the "engagement" question. We have been getting pretty good at giving some pretty catchy responses...and we even think we might have one persistent concerned cattle friend that might think we actually are and is wondering why he hasn't got an invite. My newest response is to give you an exact date...
"When is Mark going to pop the question"--pause-"We have decided he will ask me on March 3, 2012"
For awhile there we would pretend that they screwed up big time and we actually broke up...and let's be honest it was true every once and awhile ;)
Sometimes on days like today...I just reply "never". And the other day I made the big mistake of predicting an actual realistic date...let's be clear I was off on the prediction and I was a little too excited the whole day I thought it "could possibly be".
So here is my point...please help me out. I want to stop feigning happiness for my best friend when she gives me that call...I want to be truly truly happy. Please stop asking me when it is going to happen....because your votes of confidence for the past three years had led me to believe that I would not be the last girl standing and unless I shotgun my wedding (which my earlier planning remarks should prove that impossible) I will indeed be the last non-single girl standing. Please continue to invite us to your engagement parties...but stop predicting that an announcement from us will occur at that party. I think your making the boy nervous. And your making me way to antsy for something I don't even really need yet. You know...I am starting to think it will be a good thing to date for 8 years before we get married...or maybe Grandma's morals will change and we can just date forever. This dating life is pretty darn good too...I almost never buy dinner ;)
So here is to me losing the race between all of us happily dating friends. In fact, I am choosing to stand out (this is my way to make me feel better about myself--you know you all do it too). I am going to become the best darn wedding guest and bridesmaid ever. I am going to take advantage of all those open bars. I am going to drive across the whole darn country (and fly across the world in some cases) to get there and I am going to catch every bouquet possible ( I am on a current streak of 3) and I am going to be truly truly happy for all of my friends.
And here is to my best friends---congratulations on winning the race because it means you have met your perfect other half and somehow convinced him it is time. And a special congratulations to Molly and Randy that inspired this post--may you be happy for as long as you live!
And I think at every wedding I will do one more cheer to all my friends who are really single and still really happy. If I have a great guy and rant...and you listen...I give you permission to rant to me as long as need be. I will always be jealous of your independence and ability to roam no matter how happy I may be.
And you know what...by the time its my turn I will be an event planner somewhere and know what to do and I will have saved enough money for those chair covers I always wanted :) Make sure to notice how beautiful your seat is in a few years from now! ...and yes I know what you are thinking...they are a waste of money...but I still love them :)